did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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