Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
