Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
