Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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