She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
you never un-have a 4some
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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