I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
