the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
