this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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