So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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