Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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