You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
