I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
