No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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