Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
