i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
