i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
