So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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