I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
