i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
