Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
