i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
