this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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