so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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