why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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