I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
