toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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