he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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