no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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