Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
