honey bunches of taint.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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