She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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