doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
