Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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