I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
