I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
