I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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