I CAN MOONWALK!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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