How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude i'm inner monologue high
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
