He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
