gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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