Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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