Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
