Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
