what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
