Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
