For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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