i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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