Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
