Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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