i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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